The Greatest Consolation

Read: Job 2:11-13

“Then they sat down on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights with no one speaking a word to him, for they saw that his pain was very great.”—Job 2:13

In the 1982 film “Conan the Barbarian,” Conan’s true love is killed and he places her body on a funeral pyre.  As Conan watches her body being consumed in flames, his friend, Subotai cries. Another character asks, “Why are you crying?” to which Subotai responds, “He’s Conan…he won’t cry, so I cry for him.”

Possibly the most uncomfortable aspect of bereavement is consoling the bereaved. Unfortunately we can make others’ grief about our grief experiences with comparisons to our episodes of loss or lectures on how to handle sorrow. We say or hear: “I know what you are going through” or “I know how you feel.” Yet every loss is unique, even in the same family. The death of a mother touches each child differently. So, the loss of your mother can’t be equated to the loss of my mother.

The Word of God shows us consolation in action. When Job lost everything—his wealth, children, and health, his friends visited. Upon seeing the depth of Job’s grief, they simply sat silently with him for seven days and nights. No words of comfort, no admonition for not rejoicing in the midst of his sorrow. They simply shared the burden by silently mourning with him.

After Lazarus died, Jesus came to Lazarus’ sisters, Mary and Martha. When Jesus witnessed the tears of Lazarus’ sisters and other mourners, Jesus, the Son of God, wept.  We speculate why He cried, but simply, He cried (John 11:35).

“You have my sympathy” means to share and stand in agreement with another’s sorrows. It’s carrying the burden of grief with them. We could learn valuable lessons from Jesus and Job’s friends—simply sharing the grief can be the greatest consolation.

Don’t tell others not to cry—cry with them. Or like Subotai, cry for them.